97: Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry Turkle

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Did I just stress you out with OBS Mike?
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There's a little bit of stress. I'm not sure if it's all OBS
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Long story short. Yeah, we failed with the live stream. Sorry everybody. That's all right. We'll get it figured out for next time
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I wish I knew how many times I've tried to do some form of live stream and it's falling apart
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So this is far from the first time I've had something like this happen. Just another one of those
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It's just another one of those is just the way this stuff works
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So if you joined us on twitch and helped us through some of our troubleshooting
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Thank you
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If not and you knew nothing about it, we're gonna try again next time because I won't let it go
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That's kind of how I tend to operate and I think Mike is maybe gonna be frustrated with me in the process
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But we'll try it again. We'll try it again. So
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Between here and there I guess this way we at least get to announce that we're trying this
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on the podcast and if you're interested in watching us live as we record this the goal is to
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Have video via twitch and we can have the chat and stuff happening there a hundred percent public
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we had a conversation with premium members and
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Without exception everybody said absolutely go for it make this thing public. So that's what we're trying to do and
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I think we simply tried to do too much at once here at the beginning
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So we'll make some adjustments Mike and I'll do some more testing
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We'll give it another go here in a couple weeks and
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We'll go from there. So as this releases that would be
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Who would that be it be a week from?
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When this releases I think in theory we got to check out the schedule and stuff first, but right that's the goal
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So now that's off our chest
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Take a deep breath Mike. You're right. I'm good
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All right, let's jump in to follow up. I have one
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I'll get it out of the way and then you can do your three
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that was to
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set up daily questions and
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Use those as
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journal prompts. I did do this and
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I can't say that the whole journal prompt side of it
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Turned out the way I expected because it doesn't actually work as journal prompts and just for reference
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Like here's the there are six questions that I look at at the end of the day
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Those are did I do my best to and then they all follow after that did I do my best to set clear goals today?
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Make progress toward my goals today find meaning today be happy today build positive relationships today and be fully engaged
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today, so those are six questions I run through at the end of the day lots of days here and
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Sometimes that sparks things that works out for a journal entry at the end of the day, but it
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Not always it's it's kind of just a sometimes thing, but I am doing it. So I would say that's a success thus daily questions
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There you go. I win. Can I say I win? All right. Good job, Joe. You can you have one follow up?
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I'm I'm batting a thousand right now
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Or today's follow up
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All right, so I also had a action item to create my own
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daily questions and
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I did that I'm gonna share something with you via messages that I was gonna share
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Before but then we had video issues sure I
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actually recorded a video about this I am doing this inside of Rome research thing and
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I'm using a text expander snippet and a keyboard maestro macro
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and what it does is it creates a
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section under my daily notes page in Rome and it has
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The questions and it's got a sliding scale which you can do real easily in Rome with a double curly brackets
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Slider I think is the the code
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So it's just the question and then that piece and it's all indented so it's in a block that I can grab and put inside of a separate
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Daily questions page which collects all this stuff together so I can review it
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But I like this it's a text expander snippet that I throw up there at the beginning of the day
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And then as I go through my day I
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Adjust these because I didn't like the idea of staring at a screen as the last thing that I did
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During my day
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So it forces me to be a little bit more active as I go about my day and I'm answering these things
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And not just wait till the end and say how did I do?
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Which I really like
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the other
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piece to this as
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I mentioned last time I'm kind of
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Questioning where day one fits I've been doing the kind of morning pages style
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Journaling inside of my fancy notebook and I've been doing that kind of as I go throughout the day
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That's been going really well, too
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So I feel like between that and these daily questions
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I've kind of found a journaling method that clicks for me sure sure
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And are you
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Like how does okay?
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What does the review process on that look like like do you go back and review it at all?
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I well, I never have yet
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Because I started this just a week or two ago
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But I do think that I will do this periodically as part of my personal retreat that I will go through and I will look at all
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Of the daily questions for the last couple months just real briefly maybe 15 minutes to go through all of them
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Be like why did I have so many
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Low ones in this particular area and then figure out what I can do to kind of fix that
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That's the thought process at the moment sure as with everything Mike does it's subject to change
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Okay, that's fair
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But yeah, so that's the daily questions and I shared the link to the video specifically the time is publishes
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I'll put a post up on my
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My website so there'll be a link in the show notes for people who want to see this your action it looks more impressive than it sounds
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Needs a visual yep
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The other other follow-up items I had were to
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Do the demon Simon exercise?
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I didn't spend a whole lot of time on this so I feel like I didn't give this the effort that it really should have had
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But I did think about it a little bit and I did actually have some meetings with the person
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that I
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Thought of for that particular exercise
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So the other item here pretend I'm gonna be tested at the end of every meeting this one has helped a lot
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And I don't have like specifically
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Quantifiable proof that like this changed my perspective other than how I feel the meetings went
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But this totally changed meetings for me. So this definitely had its intended effect. Nice
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Well, that's encouraging. I haven't used that at all
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Maybe that's because I haven't been in any meetings at all since we last recorded
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Not even virtual ones not even virtual woods none. I've been in zero meetings since we last I've had some virtual meetings that have really tested this
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Let me tell you
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There was one meeting the other day where the organizer and half of the people in the meeting joined the video meeting
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while they were driving in their cars, which was
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Really exciting. I bet I bet
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So that's follow-up. I guess actually one other thing I'll mention here
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I've shared this with you and I've shared it with a few other people
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I have started to make these videos about the sketch notes that I take from the sermons that I listened to and
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I shared one last week and
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Got a lot of positive feedback about it. I still am not committing to this every week yet
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I think it's still in the experimental phase, but I am recording these short walk-through videos of like
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The sermon notes that I take in sketch note form. So if you're interested in that sort of thing
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I'm gonna start posting some of those to my website
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So I'll put a link in the show notes for people who may be interested in that
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I still find it kind of hard to believe that people are interested in my sketch notes
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I never thought these would be interesting anybody but me yeah
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But people are telling me that they like them. So I'll throw it out there. Well, I think it's interesting
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It's interesting to see you talk through your sketch notes Mike shared this with me
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I think it's helpful. I think there are people that will enjoy watching those for sure cool
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So kudos to you Mike on that. Thanks
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so
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follow-ups done Mike which means we need to have a conversation yes, we do about tech difficulties or
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Maybe see now. Here's the thing like because we had technical difficulties for like 45 50 minutes straight
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because of
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That I think it's interesting that we're now going to step into a talk
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about a book
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About the problem with technology
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And how it causes problems
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It's only fitting that we had problems with it. How appropriate I know I know it's it's like perfectly
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suited for that, but
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today's book is reclaiming conversation by Sherry Turkle and
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I think we're gonna talk a lot about how
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texting is a terrible thing to do it's
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Probably the gist of the book. I think that's probably fair
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so
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Sherry's
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entire I shouldn't say entire premise, but a lot of the premise is
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Around the concept of how technology has changed the way that we talked to each other and how we have been going down
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It I wouldn't say it's in her words, but an incorrect method of talking to each other
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Which we have been doing via little computers machines
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texting
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Not face-to-face anything not face-to-face. I think is what she would be getting it
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I think she would probably be okay with phone like phone conversation. It seemed like she was okay with that to some degree
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But even that I think falls short of what her
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intent is
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overall for sure I
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Agree although I was thinking about this earlier and now that you bring it up it reminded me did she ever officially
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define
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conversation
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I don't think she did no
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Because I was the note I wrote down I was waiting for for the definition
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but
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it's kind of assumed
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which I
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I don't know how I feel about because a lot of times when you pick up a book like this
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380 pages and you couldn't give us a one paragraph the script at the very beginning
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correct and in a lot of cases like you pick something like this up and
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like it's one of the first things they want to do is define the terms and
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she did
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Oh shoot, what were the there were terms that she used oh it was intelligence
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That's what it was she was very particular about how we use the term artificial intelligence at the beginning and how
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Intelligence means more than just knowledge
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Like she was very particular about that and wanted to reclaim the definition behind intelligence
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but yet she never gave us a definition of
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conversation and
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How she wanted to you know, she never said she wanted to reclaim the definition of conversation as well
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So I don't know. I think that's interesting. It's it's fascinating to me that you picked that up as well
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Yeah, and I don't think it's completely
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Necessary like you said it's kind of implied that she's talking about
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face-to-face
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conversation in the same place where a big part of the conversation is
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recognizing people's facial expressions and stuff like that
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But it did feel weird that she wasn't talking about that specifically at the beginning
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She talked about all of the things that happen when we don't have it like we become less empathetic we become less connected less creative less fulfilled and
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She talked about
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How were page 10 we're so accustomed to being always connected that being alone seems like a problem technology should solve
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so she kind of just makes a distinction between connection and conversation but
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Never really defined what she considers to be a conversation
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So is this podcast that we're recording right now? Is this a conversation? I kind of think she would think no
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Because there's not the face-to-face aspect of it, but then you get a little bit closer like okay, so if the video actually worked
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Is that a conversation?
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Sure. Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm not sure I don't have a book in front of me right now
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But I don't know when this was written and I think that as technology evolves the lines become a little bit grayer
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So maybe zoom wasn't a thing, you know when she she wrote this she references things that happened in like 2014
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So I think it was written probably shortly after that
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but so video calling I'm sure has has been around but I
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Think it's it'd be kind of it's one of those books where
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You have to take it for when it was written as like this is a stamp in a
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period of time and
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Then you're left with the question of like well how has her thinking on this evolved as time goes on right?
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Yeah, for sure. It was written in 2015 at least it's when it was released okay, and you know that it's a good thing to keep in mind
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that it was released in 2015 because
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it she covers a lot of the territory around
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groups that are texting each other and she paints this picture over and over and over again
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of groups of people who are
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Talking quote-unquote talking that did the thing
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and
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Yet they're not actually having a face-to-face like they are texting each other while they're at dinner or
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They're texting friends who aren't there or they're looking for a better party when they're at a given party
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And so they don't actually enjoy the one they're at there's a lot of that
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Sentiment and it's not till much much later in the book to she even reference how there's kind of a resurgence against that
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Because I've noticed that in some of the youth today
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how
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they enjoy the phone free retreats and
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and such like there seems to be people who
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Recognize that that's not the way we should be
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doing things so I don't know I
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think we may have
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stepped beyond a lot of her premise on
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this but I'm not
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Certain that we're far enough away from it to say it's a non-issue either
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We're also in the middle of a pandemic
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So even if we wanted to have face-to-face conversation that doesn't look the same right for most of the places that we would have it
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Yep
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And so there's a little bit of a grain of salt approach that you have to take when reading it right now
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Because even if you wholeheartedly believe everything that she says and this is the ideal how you're gonna implement that right now
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Like there's a whole section here devoted to education
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Who knows what schools are going to look like in the fall?
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But it's probably not gonna be what we were familiar with
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It's probably gonna be a little bit different and that is going to be working against us having
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conversation in the way that she did not define
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Where it's face-to-face no technology, but so you have to figure out how can we adapt this?
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What's the second best version of that?
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You know and I kind of wish she would have gotten into that but she really didn't yeah, and at 380 pages
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That is true. That is true
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So let's dive in here. I in the outline. I just kind of laid out the parts. There are one two three four five six parts
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about two to three chapters per part and
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Let's just kind of work through these the first of those parts is the case for conversation in
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Which she does not define conversation, but she argues for its virtues and
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The first of those is under the title of the empathy
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Diaries and this is something I think she hangs her hat on for a large part of the book in
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And so it's fitting. I think that she starts with that in
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showing how empathic qualities in
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Youth and I she's probably referring to the later part of Millennials as well would be my guess
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She doesn't ever use like generational titles that I recall, but
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She does refer to how
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using phones and computers to
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Have quote-unquote conversations
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We're losing the ability to show empathy for each other and then we can see the
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ramifications of that throughout the rest of the book and
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She just tells some stories of how you know
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There's bullies and and students who have no idea what the other students are feeling and they're talking about a party that
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90% of the group was at but that one student wasn't and that student runs away crying because they weren't there and couldn't be there
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And the students around them had no idea that that was an issue to talk like that in front of her
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so, you know that whole concept of showing empathy is
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One that she spells out very early and then talks about quite a bit throughout the rest of the book
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Yes, although with empathy specifically I
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Couldn't help but think back to our discussion on emotional intelligence. Yep
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because
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emotional intelligence is a combination of in
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Trapersonal skills so self-management skills and interpersonal skills skills for
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living well with other people and it's not just
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communication, which is where conversation would come
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but that's a part of it and I think the
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lack of empathy is
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More so an indication of a lack of emotional intelligence than it is a lack of conversation are those linked?
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Probably but I don't think there's a one-to-one
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correlation here either like one of the things that
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Employers are really clamoring for right now are these soft skills that typically don't get taught in school
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So you cannot teach these skills that doesn't mean they can't be taught by the way
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But the fact that they typically do not get taught and then you notice when they're not there
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well duh
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Yeah, it's true. I
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Kind of figured that would come up at some point whenever we have this conversation mostly because like we had
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We've talked about like the book grit or you know when we went through emotional intelligence
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There's a lot more to it than just one particular
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Aspect
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I don't want to say but but she does seem to have the viewpoint that empathy
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Yeah, I might be putting words in her mouth. I feel like her intent was that empathy is a
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deriving point for a lot of other
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In this case emotional intelligence qualities. Do you think that's fair? I'm not certain that that's a hundred percent
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Where I think empathy is required for conversation
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But I think the argument that she's kind of making is that a lack of conversation has led to a lack of empathy
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I
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Don't think that part is as clear cut as she made it sound because there's a lot of other emotional intelligence factors
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I think it's more direct if you flip it the other way around I think that's fair
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Regardless she likes empathy a lot
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So do I I think that's important
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It is important
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She tends to make it the thing throughout the book though
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so
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Keep that in mind as we as we go through here, but that's the first piece
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of the first part so that's she's using that as the jumping off point here in that
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the use of in this case texting
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would lead students and
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groups to the point where they're not being considerate of other people and that leads to a lot of
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Problems that they go through down the line
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Yep, so
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Exactly and I guess just to clarify like what I'm saying is that she's kind of using it as evidence of
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See we've lost conversation and we've lost the sympathy and that's the part that I don't think there's a real clear connection to sure
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I think it's very easy to say
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there's been a decrease in empathy and as a result we're seeing a loss in conversation and
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Because of that
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Use that as the springboard into the rest of the book, but the way she did it felt a little bit disingenuous to me sure
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Sure, so then what would you be like if that's the case then what was in your mind? What's causing that?
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Drop an empathy because like in her mind
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The lack of conversation and being face-to-face and having
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You know voice-to-voice back and forth with somebody else
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Helps you build the empathy muscle in this case. Yeah, if you're saying it's the other way around
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What's what's the trigger? Well, I think it's the prioritization of
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the
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technical skills and the
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Decreased emphasis on the soft skills are the emotional intelligence skills in general
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That is the thing that has caused us to get to the point where we're seeing a decrease in this stuff
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It's because
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We're not focusing on it and we're not developing those skills specifically and you can say
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Well, it's the phones fault because we text instead, but it's not just the phone
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It's the television. It's a whole bunch of things that have contributed to a
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culture of convenience and
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Not wanting to do the things that are difficult and maybe important
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Like conversation so conversation is one aspect of this, but I feel like she kind of ties it directly to
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Because this one piece is gone now. We're seeing empathy a decrease in empathy and a whole bunch of other things
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But I think if tomorrow we were to decide that you know what soft skills are really the important skills and
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part of that is
00:23:25
part of that is
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communication in general part of that is
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Being able to work with other people in teams who are not like you
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Like there are different avenues that she would probably argue conversation plays out and all of those things
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But I think they're bigger and they're broader than that and we have to take that bigger view in order to recognize
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The true importance of these things to just say conversation is missing
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Isn't
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impactful enough for a lot of people
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because you may not have these
00:24:03
real deep conversations with people like she's talking about in the majority of this book but
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You may have the need to work more effectively with some people who really rub you the wrong way like
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Simon and Nadim from triggers
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You know and soft skills can help in that particular instance. You're not going into that thinking
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You know what Nadim and Simon I really want you guys to have a deep heart-to-heart conversation like no one's gonna be like
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Yeah, let's do that
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But that may happen organically if we had a broader approach to developing these skills and
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This is where like the personal development
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space and the productivity space is really interesting to me because a
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lot of this stuff comes down to
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Well, I can play the the victim card and say all of these things have happened to me
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And it's not fair or I can take control of my future
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And I can try to make myself better and develop the skills that are gonna help me create a better future for myself and my family
00:25:02
and the thing that really makes the difference in a lot of a lot of those areas is
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not learning how to code or
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Learning more facts, but it is learning these soft skills these emotional intelligence skills
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It's hard to measure the impact that they have but you can look back after a period of time
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And you can say oh, yeah, those are definitely the things that helped me get where I am today
00:25:26
So you're saying it's not the phones causing
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The emotional intelligence drop the phone makes it easier to avoid
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talking about
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emotional intelligence and soft skills I feel like you just said that the phone is at fault
00:25:42
No, it's it makes it easier. So it's enabling but it is not the causation
00:25:47
Okay, I guess I'm not seeing the difference. So what I think I'm hearing is that the culture around
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convenience is
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Leading us to a point where we're not as considerate of
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other people we're leading it's leading to the decline of
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emotional intelligence is that fair well
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Yeah, probably she she makes a point later on I
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Don't remember exactly where it was
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But you go to I'm getting it like I'm just trying to figure out where you're saying the center
00:26:23
Like what the focal point is at the beginning of all of that
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Because it sounds like it's the computers and screens and stuff that lead to that because of the convenience that they create
00:26:35
It which I don't be computers and screens that is a broader category than a smartphone
00:26:41
Sure, but the smartphone specifically she mentions later on
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that this
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gives us a lot of power and we have to learn how to use it
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responsibly and
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We have to put
00:26:58
Intentional constraints in place to control our behavior if we can't control it ourselves
00:27:04
I think back to make time by Jake Nap and John Zorotsky and
00:27:09
They have a phrase in there about how the smartphone is this phenomenal technology that allows us to connect with people across the world and
00:27:18
Do all these things that are good, but at the same time
00:27:23
It really ends up allowing us to do a whole bunch of things that we consider bad and that's what we default to is that the phones fault?
00:27:31
No, I would argue you could make the argument
00:27:34
I guess that it's the app developers fault because they're praying on our our sure habitual behaviors
00:27:40
But even that I think that really it's it's your fault if you don't
00:27:44
Control yourself enough to to turn the thing off at dinner time like she's talking about
00:27:49
And I've been there. I mean we've got action items associated with this
00:27:54
So I'm kind of jumping all over the place here
00:27:57
But since you since you asked I guess I guess what I'm playing me. It's fine
00:28:02
We'll jump around
00:28:03
I guess what I'm saying is that the smartphone is the easy thing to pick on because everybody has it and that's what everybody sees
00:28:09
But if it wasn't the smartphone, it would be something else maybe in the future. It's the Google Glass or the
00:28:16
Watch or whatever
00:28:18
You know, it's the technology is going to change and it's going to make it easier to not be intentional
00:28:25
And it's going to make it easier for companies to prey on your attention because it's valuable to them and your data
00:28:31
She talks about that in here too, which I thought was interesting
00:28:33
But at some point you got to say that no one's making me do this and I am going to
00:28:39
Use it this way and I'm going to not allow people to do these things
00:28:44
You know as we're recording this it's interesting like the privacy thing
00:28:47
People for several years have kind of just had this attitude
00:28:52
I think of like well, yeah, Google's part tracking all my stuff
00:28:55
But I don't really care because I get a lot of benefit from it
00:28:58
right and
00:28:59
Hey, just got released and they have that they shame people who track you and their emails are like hey
00:29:05
This this person's doing this naughty naughty, you know, the big the big banner and
00:29:10
People are like oh my gosh. This is amazing
00:29:13
I had no idea people were doing all this sort of thing like what happened in the last couple years that people now are so concerned about
00:29:18
Their privacy. They're literally doing the same things. They've been doing for years, but now it's like well
00:29:24
They shouldn't be doing this and there's got to be an alternate way to do that sort of thing
00:29:28
Could we have had that earlier if people had prioritized that?
00:29:31
I kind of think so and so for me personally, it's just not going to use my smartphone the way that I see everybody else doing it
00:29:39
but I'm gonna be intentional and use it to
00:29:41
Use the good from it and shut out the bad as much as I I can okay two things
00:29:47
She refers to the Fitbit and Glass as
00:29:50
Part of the book yep, and how that's an extension of what she's talking about like she does go into that and how those are yet more
00:29:58
Things not just the phone so she does reference things more than
00:30:03
the phone as well
00:30:06
Okay, so that's and artificial intelligence and robots. Yep. She goes into a lot of that stuff
00:30:11
so I can't say that like
00:30:13
we're kind of pigeonholing her into
00:30:17
The phone is causing this lack of conversation which causes a lack of empathy when she's not just
00:30:23
Focused on the phone. That's just her main piece that she talks about for most of it
00:30:29
But that's not the only thing she talks about so I don't think it's fair to say
00:30:32
She's saying there's a direct correlation between phone use and a lack of empathy. I don't think that's a hundred percent fair
00:30:39
Because she does reference a lot of other things that lead to similar
00:30:45
issues
00:30:47
What was the second point I got the first one written down and I didn't get the second one written down. Oh the data
00:30:53
the privacy thing
00:30:55
like today
00:30:57
Like yes, they're still doing the same things as far as data collection
00:31:02
I think they've started collecting away more than they were five years ago where we were whenever this book was written
00:31:09
But what they're doing with it has changed significantly from then till now
00:31:15
So I think you know with all of the marketing and the smart information. They're able to determine about you
00:31:21
Like I think that's partially why people are now
00:31:24
Having a lash back at all the data tracking just because of what folks are doing with it. I mean you think about Mike
00:31:32
The tools that you use as a marketer like an online marketer
00:31:36
Like sending email newsletters like it's nuts how much information those tools will give you about the people who have subscribed to your newsletter
00:31:44
Like it's just bonkers and you do nothing other than set up an account and you're not even the person on the other end
00:31:51
Who's setting up the data collection?
00:31:53
Sure, you know, it's nuts. So anyway, that's yeah, that's that's fair
00:31:58
Specifically to refer to the phone point you are correct that she does get into some other stuff later this specific section
00:32:06
though
00:32:07
She talks about how the first chapter she introduces fubbing which is maintaining eye contact while texting and she talks about even a
00:32:16
Silent phone inhibits conversations that matter and then in the next chapter
00:32:20
She talks about the smartphone genie and it grants these wishes wish number one will always be heard wish number two
00:32:27
We can put our attention wherever we want wish number three. We will never be alone and then the bonus one
00:32:32
We will never be bored
00:32:33
so she's not saying at this point that it's only the phone but she's kind of implying that it is the phone that has gotten us here and
00:32:42
I guess what I'm saying is that kind of dates this book a little bit kind of shows that it was written in 2015
00:32:47
Because there's gonna be other things that are gonna replace the phone that are gonna take these exact same things to the next level
00:32:55
It's gonna be an even bigger problem than it is right now
00:32:57
But it's not going to be the smartphone genie. It's gonna be something else and that's totally not her fault
00:33:02
She can't look into the future and predict what's what's gonna be next, but well you're looking into the future, too
00:33:08
Though I'm looking into the future by looking at the past
00:33:10
Sure, and like what way like what is nothing's gonna stay the same what has replaced the phone?
00:33:16
Like that's that would be my question then like she's saying the phone is the central point and the biggest potential
00:33:22
offender here I
00:33:24
Would argue that's the same today like it's still the biggest offender correct this so I don't think that has changed
00:33:32
I agree. It's the the biggest offender right now
00:33:35
But she mentions the Google Glass thing for example. I kind of think that was a product that was ahead of its time and
00:33:42
maybe a little bit
00:33:45
Not exactly the it wasn't presented in a way that people were able to normalize it
00:33:50
Like I just had this kind of creep factor into it, right? But there'll be a version of that that's more
00:33:58
More approachable seems a lot less threatening and people are gonna are gonna flock to it whether it's that
00:34:04
Specifically or something else, you know, there's gonna be something that will replace the
00:34:10
the smartphone and I say that just because
00:34:14
I've got kids who are getting older and I recognize that even the stuff that I write about this stuff for a living
00:34:22
And there are things that their approach to technology is different than mine
00:34:26
so she talks about like the voice assistants in the later later parts of this book and series specifically and
00:34:32
I don't ever use any sort of voice assistant my kids do all the time
00:34:38
I would prefer to listen to podcasts my kids watch YouTube videos
00:34:43
So even though I am in this world
00:34:46
I am missing pieces of it and I'm seeing like their affinity for these other things and I
00:34:55
It's just gonna constantly be evolving. It's gonna constantly get worse not to sound all old man yells at cloud, but
00:35:01
So the smartphone I feel like this is I
00:35:07
Don't know what would have came before that that would have been level one
00:35:11
That's kind of like level two level three is gonna be something else and that's really what we should be looking for
00:35:16
Sure opinion. Yeah, I guess my point is that
00:35:21
She's saying the phone is the center offender like it's the center like the biggest problem
00:35:26
because of how much convenience it gives us and
00:35:30
I guess all I'm saying is yes, you're saying it will evolve into something other than that
00:35:36
I don't think she would argue with that. I'm just saying that in today's world. It's the same
00:35:40
So I don't think she's wrong and saying the phone is the center point simply because it still is today
00:35:46
Correct. I think it also depends on what you consider to be your world
00:35:51
Like there's a whole section in here on education again jumping all over the place
00:35:55
But I remember when I was in college I had a laptop, but I didn't take it to class
00:36:01
there was no Wi-Fi all over the campus and I took notes by hand and
00:36:06
I've often thought back and big man
00:36:09
I wish I had an iPad like that would have made things way easier in the middle of a class because she was the example of a
00:36:16
Class sheet taught specifically
00:36:18
where the students came up and they
00:36:21
apologized for texting in the middle of of class and
00:36:26
I think depending on the form factor and maybe at that specific point the phone's not the thing
00:36:33
Maybe it's the iPad because you can hide behind the screen
00:36:35
We've all seen people take out their laptops and meetings and then you're like I wonder what they're doing
00:36:39
so if that's the place where you're recognizing the effects is that
00:36:46
you're attending one of these classes and
00:36:49
You feel bad because you're addicted to your technology, but maybe it's
00:36:55
Happening through messages on your iPad instead of the the smartphone
00:36:59
I know people who are able to put their smartphone
00:37:02
Away and go somewhere for an extended period of time, but they can't turn notifications off on their watch like
00:37:11
This is very personal the the doors that we leave open to
00:37:17
people and
00:37:20
companies to
00:37:22
Arrest our attention at any given moment and I think it's worth thinking through what those are for you
00:37:28
But it's not always the smartphone. Yeah. No, I think that's fair. I was thinking about the Apple watch a lot
00:37:34
During this book just curious to see
00:37:39
If it because I couldn't remember when it came out
00:37:42
Has it has it been more than five years ago now?
00:37:44
I think so and that's a great example because I know people who are like, huh, see I'm not addicted to this stuff
00:37:51
I have notifications turned off on my phone. Yeah, but they get them all the time and they're watching and they're constantly looking at their watch
00:37:57
Right, right so the net gain here is absolutely zero
00:38:01
You just transferred them from one screen to another. Yeah
00:38:06
Well, here's so the other piece of this very first part the case for conversation is the flight from conversation and
00:38:14
We've been all over this. So I don't think we'll spend a ton of time here, but she makes the point that
00:38:19
People a lot of times will have
00:38:23
the phone with them and
00:38:26
It allows them an exit into another world or to see what's going on someplace else and as a result
00:38:35
It forces the conversation to stay light because then you can dip in and out of it without having to truly focus on the conversation
00:38:42
so as a result of a
00:38:45
device whether it's your watch your phone whatever it is
00:38:50
Because it can connect you to some other place
00:38:53
You're more likely to step away from the conversation and the face-to-face you're in right now
00:39:01
Which means you're not going to go into a deep conversation because if you're floating in and out of that conversation
00:39:06
You you can't follow a deep conversation
00:39:08
Yep as a result of that
00:39:10
So it forces you to keep a light conversation which means having a deep conversation is very difficult for people and
00:39:17
leads to other issues as we'll get into in the business section
00:39:21
Exactly. She also says in this section that pro conversation is not anti technology
00:39:26
And I think that's an important point we look at
00:39:30
All of the negative aspects of smartphones and technology a lot of times
00:39:35
But if we can just learn to curb our own behaviors those aren't necessarily bad things
00:39:40
She mentions that the average American adult checks their phone every six and a half minutes
00:39:45
You don't have to check your phone every six and a half minutes just because everybody else does
00:39:50
And if you can get that under control then you can actually do a lot of good with it for sure now
00:39:57
At the very beginning of the book at the top of the table of contents
00:40:01
there's a quote and this quote is referred to in the introduction of the book and it is then used as
00:40:08
the section titles for four out of the six
00:40:13
pieces here and
00:40:16
The quote is by Henry David Thoreau from Walden. I feel like that book comes up a lot
00:40:23
I really need to read this one Mike. I know you won't because it's different
00:40:27
Oh, I'm picking a different book for next time. I'm not sure if you look that a yet
00:40:30
I haven't looked I need to refresh the thing. I'll refresh it here shortly
00:40:35
The quote is I had three chairs in my house one for solitude two for friendship
00:40:42
three for society and
00:40:45
the next part in the book is referred to as one chair and
00:40:50
The intent is she then goes through these three different pieces here
00:40:55
one is for solitude and then she also has another chapter for self-reflection and
00:41:01
the intent here is that you are
00:41:04
turning inwards as
00:41:07
opposed to constantly being connected and I think this is where she comes up with the phrase I share therefore I am and
00:41:14
what she what she means by that is that
00:41:18
You don't really get to know yourself and what you think and feel about things until you've shared pictures or comments online
00:41:25
on Facebook on Twitter on wherever like you have to share what you think in order for you to figure out who you are
00:41:31
It's kind of your way of figuring out your identity
00:41:33
Whereas if you spend time in solitude, which is her first point here
00:41:38
you have the time to do the self-reflection and such which those are technically separate, but they kind of morphed together in my head but
00:41:45
When you do that you have a chance to think through what you think about something and process your way of thinking about it and
00:41:53
Determine what it is your opinion is on things as opposed to having to share it with the world and hope they like it and
00:41:59
You know tweak everything you're saying to what everybody else wants you to say
00:42:03
Thus the echo chamber Mike
00:42:06
That's the echo chamber. This part made me uncomfortable
00:42:10
Did you like my note under solitude
00:42:14
So we
00:42:17
Could I go there? I want to go there? I'm gonna go so at the very beginning we were talking about the empathy diaries and
00:42:24
One of the points. This is a very small point
00:42:27
This is a very small piece of this chapter, but I glitched on to it because of bookworm and
00:42:32
I hope listeners will appreciate that I latched on to this the point was that reading fiction books
00:42:39
Helps the reader improve empathic capacity and she just briefly mentioned how reading fiction is a way to combat the lack of
00:42:47
empathy
00:42:49
created by
00:42:50
Constant phone use. Why do you think that is I just needed to get that out there?
00:42:55
It's because you're diving into the world and seeing the thoughts and the experiences of these characters and how they're interacting with each other
00:43:03
You're seeing conversations that you don't see in real life
00:43:06
Yep, yeah, that's I saw that and I was like huh I wonder why and then like yeah wait, that's really sad
00:43:14
Yeah, but it does go even for folks who are not fully like they're not super deep on phone use
00:43:21
like even my wife is big into this and she is far from addicted to her phone and
00:43:28
this is something that she
00:43:31
loves to do because she gets to see the worlds of other people and it's interesting to me how often she will reference a fictional characters
00:43:39
reaction to a certain circumstance and
00:43:42
How she's using that to inform the way she interacts with people in real life. It's interesting to me, but
00:43:48
Fictions, you know, it's dessert Mike. It's not necessary
00:43:53
Well, you could make the argument. I think which is kind of how we got where we are
00:44:00
That a specific conversation is not necessary to sure
00:44:05
but we've seen the
00:44:09
the net result or
00:44:11
Again, not a direct correlation here, but we see what that lack of focus on
00:44:17
conversation and other soft skills emotional intelligence skills has
00:44:22
Has brought us to right so I don't know. I'm still not probably gonna read fiction
00:44:30
but I did I
00:44:32
Did take some time to think about why?
00:44:36
She said what she said about it improving the empathic capacity
00:44:40
she didn't explicitly say it but I've kind of shared what I think or why I think that is and
00:44:46
I think you could get the same benefit from
00:44:50
Prioritizing conversation, which is a big thing I got from reading this book not to jump all the way to the end
00:44:57
But that's the big takeaway here is create more time and space for conversation
00:45:02
not
00:45:04
fictional conversation where you're peering into the world of other people I get I get where that's like a version of this which is
00:45:09
beneficial
00:45:11
But I think more beneficial at least for me is the actual conversations themselves and that's uncomfortable enough
00:45:18
I heard it
00:45:21
one introvert who would much prefer
00:45:24
Just to send the text message then to call people and have the conversation which having read this
00:45:32
I've challenged myself to do that more this week of made a couple of uncomfortable phone calls
00:45:37
Which they weren't even uncomfortable
00:45:38
They were just hard for me to make the call and then once I did talking to people, you know, it was
00:45:44
You can look back at it and you can say well, what was I so afraid of but
00:45:48
Still the the resistance and the friction is is there for me
00:45:52
sure
00:45:54
One of the things I don't think she called out like yes, she talks about how people were using
00:46:00
phones to get away or like to avoid an in-person alive a real-time conversation
00:46:06
They were using phones to get away from that because it was messy and you couldn't edit yourself
00:46:11
But yeah at the same time
00:46:14
I have a tendency to text be
00:46:17
In a lot of cases simply because it's way faster and I don't have time for the phone call
00:46:22
Sure
00:46:24
I will send off the quick message like you just need to know this one thing
00:46:28
And then I'm gonna go away
00:46:30
Otherwise if I make the phone call, it's gonna be 10 minutes
00:46:33
Well as the person who edits the podcast
00:46:37
I can tell you that I understand the ability to not respond in real time and kind of self-edit
00:46:44
But when you are amplifying that message and sending it out to a lot more people
00:46:49
There's only so much editing can do yes, you sound like an idiot
00:46:53
You're still gonna sound like an idiot when I'm done with you
00:46:57
Sorry
00:46:59
And there have been times where I'm editing and I'm like, uh, I wish there was an easier way to make
00:47:05
What this whole point that I just made sound more intelligent, but at that point it is what it is
00:47:11
and so I feel like
00:47:14
forcing myself to put myself out there
00:47:17
Has been
00:47:18
Beneficial and helping me overcome a little bit of that
00:47:21
And that's the thing
00:47:24
I mentioned like this part made me uncomfortable when you were talking about not having to have all of these thoughts in public
00:47:29
Because I am having more and more thoughts in public. I mentioned at the beginning. Yeah, I'm sharing the
00:47:36
The sermon the sketch notes from the sermon notes that I take
00:47:39
That is really scary to me that feels very
00:47:44
Personal I am very much
00:47:47
intimidated
00:47:50
By doing that which probably means that it's a good thing that I'm I'm doing it
00:47:54
But I also think that if I am able to pull this off
00:47:57
an internet where I don't have to be
00:48:00
so worried about every single thing that I say
00:48:04
Because I share the truth and I'm not constantly editing myself and people know what to expect from me
00:48:11
I obviously have to live up to my reputation and I have to have the integrity and the character to sustain this
00:48:20
but
00:48:21
That seems very appealing to me
00:48:23
so
00:48:25
I am
00:48:26
I'm quickly approaching the point where I do not have an unpublished thought it feels like
00:48:31
but
00:48:33
if as long as I am
00:48:35
True to myself in the thoughts that I publish
00:48:38
then
00:48:40
That I think is a a good thing and hopefully
00:48:43
encourages other people to do the same and maybe
00:48:47
Loses a little bit of this negative stigma attached to digital communication. Yep
00:48:54
I feel like I I cannot say that I'm
00:48:57
in your ballpark of no one published thought like that's a thing that content creators tend to say
00:49:04
and
00:49:06
I don't argue with it. Sparky says that quite a bit. I think and it's kind of a cool
00:49:11
Concept but every time I've heard it
00:49:14
It's come from folks who do not have strong 80d
00:49:18
in any way
00:49:21
I have thousands and thousands and thousands of ideas and thoughts that I'm never going to get the publishing
00:49:27
This is not going to happen
00:49:30
Sure, and it's I just have too much. It's the way it happens
00:49:33
I do try to get around that somehow with
00:49:35
Like that's one of the things I've been doing with the twitch streams
00:49:39
Like folks who have been following me know I've been streaming on twitch lately
00:49:43
and
00:49:44
It's kind of a cool thing
00:49:46
To do that because you can explore so many different ideas over the span of a couple hours
00:49:52
And have conversations with people just kind of hang out and and do some of that in a granted
00:49:58
It's it's kind of odd in that
00:50:00
Like I'm talking into a camera, but you're talking back through a chat box like it's a little different in that scheme
00:50:06
But it is fascinating to me how much ground you can cover
00:50:10
in that
00:50:12
In that time so it's fun. I'm planning to continue doing that
00:50:15
But it is interesting how like when you have a conversation
00:50:20
Like when you're trying to publish things in public like yeah, you can't edit it
00:50:26
Especially when you're streaming it because that thing is recorded as you're streaming it and
00:50:30
It's there like yes, you could delete it
00:50:34
But you're gonna delete the whole thing you can't edit out what you're doing like it is there
00:50:39
So you have to be 100 real you have to be genuine
00:50:44
You have to be completely honest with people
00:50:47
When they're joining you for that otherwise like if you say something that's not 100 true like there's a record of it
00:50:55
Yep, and people will bring that back
00:50:58
But the smartphone isn't the thing that allows you to be in authentic
00:51:02
I mean I remember several years ago. I was in the jewelry store
00:51:06
Shopping for a gift from my wife and the person was showing me a necklace
00:51:11
And they were telling me a story of how the guy who bought this bought seven of them for all of his girlfriends
00:51:18
And then they found out about each other and they all dumped him and so he brought them all back
00:51:23
Wow
00:51:26
Like I can't even I can't even imagine trying to keep all that stuff straight like no, thank you
00:51:32
Yeah, but people do it. Yep. That they do
00:51:36
So I I'm going to
00:51:38
Share things but I'm going to do my best to make sure that I am sharing true things
00:51:44
and not try to
00:51:46
Remember which versions of myself I have promoted in different places. That's just too much work. Right?
00:51:53
Right
00:51:55
Which this is a good place to jump into the two chairs part here and I think we're gonna lump this all together
00:52:01
uh, but
00:52:03
Two chairs is when you're interacting with other people so to go back to
00:52:07
Thoreau's quotes. I had three chairs in my house one for solitude two for friendship. So this is when you're in
00:52:13
Uh a relationship with one other person. So it's usually directly to one or a few other super close
00:52:20
Friends a small friend group of sorts and the three parts inside of this part
00:52:25
Family friendship and romance. So your close family your immediate family that you live with
00:52:32
your friends your very close friendships that you have and then your romantic partner
00:52:37
and
00:52:39
Those three I feel like are some of the most
00:52:42
I don't want to say heated but they're the the ones that you're going to have the closest ties to and be emotionally close to
00:52:52
Which means that having face-to-face conversations are kind of important and
00:52:59
borderline mandatory in a lot of cases and yet I was shocked Mike especially in the family section of the families that
00:53:06
Would handle their fights
00:53:09
in a chat box
00:53:12
Yep, like that just dumbfounded me. I
00:53:14
Know it under the fighting by text section is is this really a thing? Yeah
00:53:19
Like this is apparently a thing. I have never heard of this. I don't know anyone who does this at least that we'll talk about it
00:53:27
I I was dumbfounded by this. Have you run across any family that does this?
00:53:31
No, and I can't
00:53:34
Imagine doing that myself, but as I thought about this like why would they do this? I think
00:53:40
that the reason
00:53:44
would be
00:53:46
That you want to prove
00:53:48
Your point you want to prove that you are right
00:53:51
So it occurred to me as I was reading this section
00:53:56
That while fighting by text
00:53:58
Allows more time and space to come up with an appropriate response
00:54:01
It ends up being better for proving your point, but it ends up being much worse for saying you're sorry
00:54:09
Which if you're really thinking about how are we going to resolve this conflict? That's ultimately what has to happen
00:54:16
many of the
00:54:19
The difficulties that I've had
00:54:22
Not just in my marriage, but in different
00:54:26
relationships have been solved when I have quit worrying about what the other person did to me
00:54:32
And just apologized whether I thought it was my fault or not
00:54:36
Just saying I'm sorry
00:54:38
It's like flipping on a light switch and now everything is good and you completely miss that if you're doing it
00:54:44
this way
00:54:46
I was also thinking about the the side effect of of this being that like
00:54:52
Conversations tend not to get as heated
00:54:55
But in my mind, I immediately thought of well, that just means that things aren't really getting resolved
00:54:59
We're planning some grass in our our backyard
00:55:03
So we have grass seed that we've planted and we've gotten a lot of weeds that have sprung up
00:55:09
And it occurred to me that yeah, maybe you don't have the heated discussions
00:55:13
But it's kind of like using a lawnmower to run over those weeds and it may look okay for a little while but you haven't done anything
00:55:20
It's still there. It's going to resurface
00:55:22
I would much rather pull the thing up by the root and you don't have to worry about it anymore
00:55:26
Yep
00:55:28
But that's the easy way to do it at least if you're
00:55:30
familiar with having those
00:55:33
conversations in person
00:55:35
but
00:55:38
I have to admit that when I was reading through all three of these pieces family friendship romance like the
00:55:44
Groups of teens that we're having conversations on text at the same time that they're in the room together
00:55:51
Or looking for parties to go to or group like gatherings that they could go to and trying to figure out if that's a better one
00:55:57
like i've seen that in person where
00:55:59
teens are
00:56:03
Trying to like they'll wait till the very last minute to commit to something because they're wanting to make sure that they pick the best
00:56:09
Of anything like that's some of the convenience culture
00:56:12
And the choice culture that we have like because we have so many choices
00:56:16
We always want to pick the best of things like I see that a lot whenever we're buying things online
00:56:21
Just kind of tangentially related like we'll do a lot of research to make sure we're getting the best option for something
00:56:28
And that's not always worth all of the research it takes to go into it
00:56:32
Like I could do a lot of research on finding a new wind screen for my microphone, but frankly most wind screens for microphones will do the job just fine
00:56:40
So just find something that'll fit what I want and go for it
00:56:44
Like that's the sort of thing you could do
00:56:46
but
00:56:47
When it comes to trying to find the best place to be and waiting till the last minute and then changing once you're at some place like it just seems so
00:56:54
Flaky yep, and maybe that's us
00:56:58
Having some experience outside of that, but that seems like it's normal for some groups
00:57:04
and
00:57:06
It's honestly it's sad. It's it's really sad, but
00:57:08
That's what she's getting at here. This is this is what we need to stop doing
00:57:14
Yeah
00:57:15
People are always looking for better options, but when you do that
00:57:20
You end up making it impossible for you to be content with what you actually have
00:57:27
Whether that is a relationship with a significant other
00:57:31
Another party you're looking to attend which she talks about in this this chapter or this section
00:57:37
And I don't know as she's describing it
00:57:42
Just does not appeal to me at all
00:57:45
Uh another thing that really jumped out to me in this section
00:57:49
Is all of the issues that people had with their phones at dinner time?
00:57:54
And you may think well
00:57:55
Yeah kids these days, but no it was the parents who had the issues with the phones at the table
00:58:01
She shared a lot of stories about interviews that she did with
00:58:04
Teenagers and college students who were like mom, please put the phone away dad
00:58:11
I want to have a conversation with you
00:58:13
Which really got me thinking because
00:58:16
this year tobe is a teenager and
00:58:20
I want to
00:58:22
Create a culture in our home
00:58:26
where
00:58:28
He doesn't
00:58:29
He doesn't have to worry about that kind of stuff
00:58:33
I'm sure like there's still gonna be outside influences. I get that
00:58:35
But it occurred to me as I read this that maybe a lot of this is brought in
00:58:40
by
00:58:42
Us as parents
00:58:44
Maybe we're setting an example in our own homes of what not to do
00:58:49
So one of my action items from this section specifically is no phones at at meals
00:58:57
And uh, I've actually taken this a little bit further
00:59:01
Uh, I won't get too crazy into the details here
00:59:05
but
00:59:06
We know that he told me to be a teenager at some point in the probably near future
00:59:11
He's going to have a phone. We want to set an example. So no phones in the bedrooms
00:59:16
Well, I use my phone for sleep tracking. So it's been easy for me to say like well
00:59:21
I need my phone by my bed because I use sleep cycle and that's how I track my sleep
00:59:25
but I bought this uh
00:59:27
Charging station so everything stays out in the kitchen now plug the phone in there at night
00:59:34
No phones in the bedrooms and he doesn't even have a phone yet, but we're setting the expectation
00:59:38
Sure, and so I've had to rethink how I am tracking my sleep
00:59:42
And I've started to do it with my my apple watch
00:59:46
So you sleep with your apple watch then I do I put it on theater mode so the phone so the light doesn't come on and I still use sleep cycle
00:59:53
Because it actually tracks like the the how deep you're sleeping and all the the rim cycles and stuff like that
01:00:00
I like having that that data
01:00:03
So i'm doing it that way and it means I have to charge it during the day at some point
01:00:07
But it's interesting to me because for a long time I justified it and said no I got to have my phone in my
01:00:13
Bedroom because i'm using it for this good purpose
01:00:17
But I also realized that that meant first thing I did when I woke up as I reached for the phone
01:00:22
Yep, so this has kind of forced me to break a bad habit and get a little bit creative in figuring out a different solution to this
01:00:31
Now the apple watch specifically I can't the way I have it set up. I'm not checking text messages. I'm not checking
01:00:38
Twitter mentions
01:00:40
There's nothing that's coming in to my watch that I want to see it's really just a health device at at this point
01:00:47
Where i'm using it to close my rings
01:00:50
Exercise every day and also now for for sleep tracking
01:00:54
And uh, i'm really happy with this experiment so far
01:01:00
but that's uh
01:01:02
And I had actually started before I started reading this this book but having read this section
01:01:07
It kind of gave me increased motivation to make this work
01:01:12
Do you feel like that still sends the right message though?
01:01:15
Like if you're like say toby had an apple watch would it be okay if he slept with it?
01:01:20
if
01:01:22
He doesn't necessarily have it set up the same way you do
01:01:25
Depends if you're asking me that question now or in five years
01:01:30
Well, you were talking about setting up the habits now
01:01:33
Yeah, that's true. Well as the apple watch currently exists. I think I would be okay with that because you're not doing like
01:01:40
Video calls you're not surfing the web from an apple watch
01:01:43
But if you're able to do those sorts of things then that kind of defeats the the purpose of the rule with the phone
01:01:49
So again, is this what we're doing right now subject to change?
01:01:52
Yep
01:01:54
But I think the big thing is just eliminating the phones right now that is the thing
01:01:58
That is the attachment device for both my wife and myself
01:02:02
So
01:02:03
We're keeping them out of the bedroom and it's felt really great
01:02:07
Good work. Yeah, I want to do this as well, but I
01:02:10
It would be very easy for me to just say I'm going to charge it downstairs. I don't use sleep cycle on it
01:02:15
I use a pen and paper tracker
01:02:17
Of course
01:02:20
And we'll go dot com
01:02:23
It's just kind of weird to me how that came out
01:02:26
Um, yeah, I don't I don't use sleep cycle at all anymore. I used to
01:02:32
But the whole tracking thing on it. I I sleep better without tracking and it seems like but
01:02:37
Anyway, I am joining you with the whole no phones at the dinner table
01:02:42
Concept as a result of this the whole parent stories
01:02:46
piece of this
01:02:49
was disheartening
01:02:51
the number of
01:02:52
Kids who wanted to have conversations with their parents but couldn't because mom and dad were on their phone
01:02:58
So
01:03:00
I have been since reading that part. I've been leaving my phone
01:03:03
In the bedroom as weird as this is it goes to the bedroom whenever we go to dinner because then I can't even hear it ring
01:03:08
so
01:03:10
Yeah, nice. That's that's where it goes
01:03:13
Um, one other piece that came from oh no this came from the next section
01:03:17
So we can go into three chairs unless there's something else you want to say about two
01:03:21
Uh, yeah, my other action item here and actually before I get there, I just want to
01:03:25
Iterate I guess that the no phone it meals the no phones in the bedroom really this is tied to the same idea
01:03:33
Of creating the time and space to have the conversations where appropriate so
01:03:38
dinner time specifically this is the one where
01:03:42
if I am intentional in seeking the conversation it happens but
01:03:47
Usually
01:03:50
What ends up happening is
01:03:52
We try to get people to the table at the same time doesn't always work
01:03:56
So it's kind of like hurting cats
01:03:58
Sure, some people are reading some people aren't
01:04:00
I tend to be
01:04:02
One of the I tend to be one of those people that just kind of like wolfs down their food and then
01:04:06
you know
01:04:08
The temptation is to leave or to check my phone and I want to curb that behavior specifically
01:04:14
And that's kind of related to the second one too. I don't really do this a lot
01:04:18
My kids actually are instigators of this because they'll have a question about something
01:04:22
And they'll they'll be like oh take out your phone and search for figure out the answer
01:04:26
So the second one here is no internet searches and conversations
01:04:29
Sure, I don't typically do this like I said especially
01:04:33
With other adults but my kids totally can get me to do this
01:04:37
Anytime so I want to I want to stop that and teach them that if you don't have an answer to something immediately
01:04:45
That's okay. You can just talk about it. You can change your opinions later
01:04:49
Right, right. We've been teaching our girls to say I don't know
01:04:53
Like it's oh, it's okay to say you don't know
01:04:56
Like it seems like in a lot of our culture. It's not okay to say you don't know the answer to something
01:05:00
Sure, everybody wants to be perfect in the communication with another person so they will look things up and have a perfect
01:05:08
streak of always having the answer for things but
01:05:11
you know, that's
01:05:14
It's not who we are like we forget things. We don't know everything. It's okay to say I don't know
01:05:18
So we've been trying to teach our girls that which means I have to say I don't know more
01:05:22
Which I don't like to do so anyway three chairs
01:05:25
I had three chairs in my house one for solitude two for friendship three four society, which is where we start talking about education
01:05:33
and work
01:05:35
Which is very fun
01:05:37
It's
01:05:39
The education piece starts off talking about
01:05:43
online classes, which
01:05:45
Perfect timing for us considering the entire world is doing online classes right now. Yep, so
01:05:53
It's like okay. All right online school
01:05:56
It's not working
01:05:59
So
01:06:01
It's entertaining to see her opinion on that and how
01:06:04
We've been deep in it now
01:06:08
Granted, it's july so a lot of this is past like a lot of school has let out
01:06:13
Uh, I say that and yet
01:06:15
We are transitioning our homeschool into a year round homeschool. So
01:06:20
That's another thing happening
01:06:23
um
01:06:25
But yeah education I think it's interesting to see how technology has been slowly working its way into
01:06:30
Education and she does point out a number of places where that's a problem
01:06:36
and students
01:06:38
Are either drawn to or were pulsed by the concept of doing
01:06:43
classes in person
01:06:46
So, I don't know I thought it was an interesting section. I feel like you have a lot of thoughts on this might I could potentially have a lot of thoughts on this section
01:06:54
Uh
01:06:57
So
01:06:59
One of the things I wrote down in the previous section
01:07:02
Just a question in my mind node file is how do you maintain conversation and community in it in the time of social distancing?
01:07:09
Yep, I don't think there's an easy answer to this
01:07:12
Which is why I said at the beginning like you kind of have to take this with a grain of salt because even if you were
01:07:17
100 on board with everything that she's outlining in this book
01:07:20
You can't do it all right now
01:07:23
uh
01:07:25
But I also think that maybe some of this is just
01:07:30
due to the defaults that we accept with the
01:07:34
technology itself
01:07:37
so
01:07:39
For example, there's a whole section in the education
01:07:42
education chapter on Elizabeth
01:07:45
And Elizabeth, I believe was a college student who had notes on Plato's republic in her phone
01:07:51
But she had skimmed the chapter and she didn't really remember anything
01:07:55
She went and had the conversation and didn't have her phone with her so she didn't have access to her notes
01:08:00
as a result her grade suffered and
01:08:04
That got me thinking back to a
01:08:09
couple of different things the first one being
01:08:13
my whole journey with sketch noting
01:08:16
and uh, I feel like now I
01:08:19
hadn't really
01:08:22
Heard about that when I was in school and I don't think I would have tried to do it
01:08:26
While I was in school because I would have tried to just capture all the facts and then review everything before the test
01:08:31
I was a pretty good test taker, but after the fact short term memory. I couldn't remember anything
01:08:37
I realize now that sketch notes
01:08:40
Force me to synthesize the information and not only
01:08:43
Restate it my own words, but to create a mental picture of the thing
01:08:49
Which means that I retain a lot more information from things
01:08:52
Which is great if you're not intending to go back and review things all the time
01:08:57
But even if you are
01:09:00
I think that this has a lot of long-term benefits
01:09:03
So I'm kind of in a position where I just wanted to get more out of the sermon notes that I was taking
01:09:08
so sketch noting was the
01:09:10
Low-risk thing to try and very happy with how that has helped me out over the last several years
01:09:17
Uh, I also think that you have to think about
01:09:21
How and why you take notes
01:09:24
And in education setting again, it's easy to just take the notes based on what the teacher said because you want to capture everything
01:09:30
That might be on the test
01:09:32
And I don't think that's a great way to do it
01:09:34
Maybe there's no way to avoid that, but for where I am right now
01:09:38
Uh
01:09:41
I bring up room all the time
01:09:42
But I feel like that has forced me to think about things differently
01:09:46
And in a very good way it feels like the next generation of note-taking where it's not a filing cabinet where stuff just ends up in
01:09:53
And if I get inspired I can go find something later because I know exactly where I put it
01:09:58
But it allows me to synthesize things and connect things after the fact
01:10:04
And it helps me not just to collect facts, but to actually learn
01:10:08
So if education if the goal of education
01:10:11
And I think maybe self-education is really the place where you have more control over this
01:10:17
Not group education
01:10:19
But if your goal is to learn there are things that you can do using technology to make that more effective
01:10:25
But again, that's not what most people are going to do in a school setting
01:10:30
It's not what most distance learning programs are going to look like
01:10:34
And I'm not sure that there's anything specific you can do in those situations
01:10:39
Other than to make the best of of what you've got
01:10:42
There's a lot there Mike
01:10:44
Yes, yes there is. Sorry
01:10:46
I don't think I have
01:10:48
A lot more to add to the education piece. I think the work side of it is the one that's
01:10:54
Of most interest to me because she refers to
01:11:00
This concept of doing remote work
01:11:03
And that's such a big thing right now as well
01:11:06
and
01:11:09
shows how
01:11:11
It's important to do these face-to-face meetings and she gives the example of how certain leaders are the best
01:11:16
Whenever they are the ones setting up the face-to-face and able to drive those and do those well
01:11:21
and
01:11:23
yet she goes through
01:11:25
the downsides of meetings and how people use it as time to catch up on their email
01:11:30
Which is absolutely true 100% in the corporate world that is
01:11:34
Three-fourths of the meetings that you're in is people on their computers doing things that are outside of that room
01:11:40
Which is very similar to what the students were doing with texting
01:11:43
You know, they're checking in on all the stuff
01:11:46
It's elsewhere as opposed to focusing in on the conversation you're having right there in the room
01:11:51
I remember I had a
01:11:53
Supervisor at one point that would very frequently require
01:11:56
Phones and computers left outside the room when we were going to brainstorm and the only thing that was allowed in the room
01:12:01
Were whiteboards and whiteboard markers
01:12:05
And that's how we did things now
01:12:10
That was the one and only supervisor I've had that would do that
01:12:13
and
01:12:14
Ever since then it's been stuff on computers and phones ever since but
01:12:19
We always accomplished way more in those particular
01:12:22
meetings. I think that's what she would argue for
01:12:26
But I don't think that's the norm at all given the mass amount of email that is required and the expectation of instant replies
01:12:35
That a lot of businesses and companies put on their employees
01:12:40
Even the requirement to have the little green dot showing up all the time and making sure it doesn't turn yellow
01:12:46
Like that is a thing
01:12:48
And I don't think companies realize
01:12:51
The downside that comes from that and yet it's a requirement
01:12:56
But so let me ask you a question here
01:12:59
Because in the education section she mentions there's two choices for teachers
01:13:03
They can change the students to fit the environment or they can change the environment to fit the students
01:13:07
Let's take that approach to the workplace. Okay. Okay. Now
01:13:12
You are a manager who's hosting a meeting and you want it to be an effective meeting. Yes
01:13:18
Do you
01:13:20
require that people leave
01:13:22
their devices
01:13:24
outside of the office
01:13:26
Or do you solve a different problem and maybe
01:13:31
It's the email thing if that's what people are feel compelled to check or maybe it's the
01:13:35
the company message thing
01:13:38
Do you think this is company culture or the device?
01:13:42
I think it's both
01:13:45
I think there's a an overarching culture that leads to that
01:13:50
And then businesses assume that that's what they should be doing
01:13:54
So they don't bother to change it. So I think there's potential where you could like
01:14:01
I
01:14:02
In order to break that you have to break the culture
01:14:04
I think which then will change the meeting structure because if you break the culture of meetings as well
01:14:09
Meetings are not updates. They're times when you go and make decisions or solve difficult problems together
01:14:16
Which is borderline impossible when you have people
01:14:21
Disconnected and floating in and out similar to what you were talking about earlier like when you have your phone around
01:14:27
It forces the conversation to stay light because you can't go deep because your your attention is too fragmented
01:14:34
This is very similar because if you're focusing on email or you know thinking about the things you have to do whenever you get done
01:14:42
You can't go into a deep brainstorming session or a time to
01:14:48
Figure out what the best answer is given a situation or decide on
01:14:52
Whatever it is you're trying to decide on
01:14:55
You can't do that if you're
01:14:57
Only halfway there like if you're only partially paying attention like it just doesn't work
01:15:02
So I think you do have to break that
01:15:04
Right. So I kind of set you up with that question. That's fine
01:15:07
Because that I think that is the heart of the argument I was making at the beginning of this episode
01:15:16
Where the smartphone is the portal into the things
01:15:20
But it is not the things themselves that are causing the anxiety of i've got to go check that
01:15:25
You still whether you have a smartphone or not
01:15:28
Feel compelled to check your email. You still whether you have a smartphone or not
01:15:32
Feel compelled to go check what's on facebook and all of the other
01:15:36
Endless feeds the smartphone is kind of the scapegoat because it's the thing that gives you the instant access to those things
01:15:44
But in a work setting
01:15:46
The more socially acceptable version of that is the laptop or the tablet or whatever
01:15:52
and so it kind of depends on the
01:15:54
The circumstances like the the external atmosphere
01:15:59
But there's a deeper problem here
01:16:02
And for a work for someone in a workplace environment
01:16:06
It can be difficult because you just say well
01:16:09
This is the culture where I work the only way to solve this is for me to get a different job
01:16:14
I can't get a different job really if you really wanted to you could
01:16:17
If it would paint is sufficient change will come
01:16:20
But for most people it just hasn't gotten to that that level yet, right?
01:16:26
It's not important enough for them to find a job where there's a more calm company
01:16:30
Culture which is completely fine
01:16:33
We're making these decisions all the time as to what we want to what is really important to us
01:16:37
But you could make the same
01:16:40
choice about any of the other areas
01:16:43
That she talks about in this book
01:16:46
Even with your family, I think that there is there is choice there. You're not just subject to
01:16:53
the
01:16:55
The pull and the allure of the the device there are things that you can do to change the culture
01:17:00
in your family there are things you can do to change the culture in your friendship circles
01:17:05
And yeah, maybe those are hard choices to make but if you care enough about
01:17:12
About stuff you'll you'll make those choices. Sure. Yeah, I think that's a good point
01:17:17
But I want to let's go let's go into the next section because I think this will circle back into that
01:17:21
Uh the path forward
01:17:23
And then she talks about the public square which is primarily geared towards
01:17:28
The information you post online is public like whether you think it's private or not it's public
01:17:34
and
01:17:35
The tracking that these companies do is just
01:17:38
bizarre whenever you start digging into it and
01:17:42
I think that there is a
01:17:45
Fair number like a fairly large population today. I don't know if it was
01:17:51
Whenever she wrote this, but today I feel like that tracking and that data
01:17:57
awareness
01:18:00
Is leading pretty large groups of people to I don't want to say rebel but to change culture and alter that
01:18:08
This might be while we were talking about how we don't know
01:18:10
Families that do chat to solve issues like we don't maybe that's because we've gotten past that
01:18:18
Back at the very beginning. I was saying, I don't know if we're completely
01:18:21
You know, we haven't gone to the succession of what she's referring to in this book
01:18:27
But I think we've maybe taken that next step
01:18:31
We're not completely removed from it, but I think we maybe have taken that
01:18:36
Next piece and embraced it because I think we've become aware of what these devices are doing
01:18:41
But I think it's
01:18:43
I think we're right at the tip like at the very beginning of that
01:18:47
I think we're just now starting to see that become more of a thing like look at the whole mindfulness
01:18:52
and digital minimalism concept like even like with analogjo.com with
01:18:57
I have a survey that I asked people to fill out whenever they join
01:19:01
the community the the team there and
01:19:06
one of the things that comes up over and over and over again that people are asking about with
01:19:11
You know wanting to explore analog productivity like it has to do with
01:19:15
Calming the crazy and not wanting the digital products to change all the time like wanting to find tools and
01:19:22
stability
01:19:24
and keep things from being chaotic
01:19:27
That's a lot of what
01:19:30
People are looking for because they're trying to find the separation from all of the digital
01:19:35
Which is fascinating to me. Maybe that's just because I'm focused on that. That's my echo chamber
01:19:39
But it is interesting. So the other thing
01:19:43
in this section here about the the data and the privacy
01:19:49
They talk about how
01:19:52
Technology causes us to give up privacy for convenience
01:19:57
And this is the thing that I feel like she really nailed this
01:20:02
This is exactly what has been happening for a long time and all of a sudden it seems like now stuff's coming to the forefront
01:20:08
And maybe it's just because
01:20:11
In my own echo chamber ww dc just happened and so far
01:20:15
I've got a whole bunch of stuff where they're blocking tracking and hate came out recently
01:20:19
By the base camp people and they've got the big notifications like so and so I was trying to track you with this we stopped them though
01:20:26
And I feel like the response to that sort of stuff has been extremely positive whereas
01:20:32
Even a couple of years ago people were like, yeah, whatever no big deal
01:20:36
like now for whatever reason
01:20:38
People are kind of pushing back on this a little bit, which I think is a
01:20:43
A good thing
01:20:45
They mentioned she mentions on page 306 that
01:20:48
These days the most important data to those who watch us are the data trails
01:20:52
We leave as we go about the business of our daily lives
01:20:55
And I think a lot of people don't recognize
01:20:58
the true value of the data that they are
01:21:02
willingly
01:21:04
giving some of these
01:21:06
companies so
01:21:08
Whatever sort of tech defaults and standards can be raised to protect people's privacy. I think this is a good thing
01:21:15
Sure. I think there's so she goes into this last part. I'm just gonna jump in here and then we can
01:21:21
Work towards wrapping up
01:21:25
the the last part is called a fourth chair
01:21:27
with a question mark
01:21:30
and
01:21:30
The chapter title in here is the end of forgetting
01:21:33
So think about the section we were just talking about the data that's being collected all of these devices
01:21:40
Capture data store it goes into a database and then it becomes something that can be used
01:21:45
Uh to do analysis later on
01:21:48
All of that data is captured by these machines, but this fourth chair
01:21:53
is an extension of
01:21:55
the
01:21:58
quote by thorro
01:22:01
and throws
01:22:02
Uh peace was he was talking about these three chairs, but she says that she wants to think about the fourth chair
01:22:08
Which is in her mind kind of a philosophical one in that it's this chair of communicating with machines like having a conversation with a machine
01:22:18
This is where
01:22:20
Siri and the the google piece and
01:22:24
Dare I say all the dingus names?
01:22:27
Hello google
01:22:29
Many of them you can trigger for people who are yep listening to this
01:22:33
Alexa play baby shark. So this is
01:22:37
Sorry team too far
01:22:41
the
01:22:43
This this whole conversation with the devices themselves like actually having these conversations
01:22:49
And she goes into a lot of things where this is becoming a relational type
01:22:53
uh
01:22:55
Peace that I think could be dangerous
01:22:58
I think she would agree with that
01:23:01
It it's something you have to be careful with but it is something that you need to be aware of that
01:23:05
We're starting to go down that path at least we were five years ago
01:23:08
We're quite a ways down it, but I think you had a good point earlier Mike and that
01:23:11
Like your kids talk to like they use use voice assistance, but we don't really I rarely do
01:23:18
I even have
01:23:20
You know mindset to do the whole talk to Siri instead of you know
01:23:24
Calling it out. I won't say it. I mean type
01:23:28
Yeah, the top yeah type to Siri. Sorry
01:23:32
But yeah, that's what I use it for and then I set up like little shortcuts almost like text expander to trigger shortcuts like Siri shortcuts
01:23:39
That's what I use it for but I never talked to it. That seems weird
01:23:43
Yeah, I agree
01:23:46
This chapter was interesting. I didn't like it at the end of the book here though
01:23:52
So
01:23:54
I get why it's here. She's taking the chair analogy to a logical conclusion
01:24:00
But I feel like the nick of time chapter from the path forward section
01:24:05
Would have been a great place
01:24:08
To end this because this is where i'm page 318. She talks about I was looking for this code earlier
01:24:14
We don't have to give up our phones, but we have to use them more deliberately
01:24:17
So again, she's calling out the phones kind of specifically throughout the meat of this book, right
01:24:21
But then she gives a whole bunch of like action items for this slow down create sacred space for conversation
01:24:29
Talk to people you don't agree with
01:24:30
Think of unit asking as the next big thing challenge the view of the world as apps choose the right tool for the job
01:24:35
Learn from moments of friction
01:24:37
That would have been an awesome ending to this book
01:24:40
But that's not how she ended it
01:24:44
By talking about robots and AI
01:24:46
Yep
01:24:48
Yep, I feel like there are a lot of places we could go with this, but I feel like it's a good place to stop Mike
01:24:53
Sure
01:24:54
So should we do action items? I got a couple let's do it which we've talked about
01:24:59
Already to some degree, but no phones at the dinner table
01:25:03
So mine's going to the bedroom when we're eating
01:25:06
and then the second is
01:25:09
And she references maybe I didn't talk about this point
01:25:12
but saying texted instead of talked it's pretty common for
01:25:16
Folks to refer to talking to someone when actually like in reality they sent emails back and forth or they sent text messages back and forth
01:25:26
We'll oftentimes say oh, yeah, I talked to Steve and he said
01:25:29
Well, I didn't actually talk to him. I had a text conversation with him. Yeah
01:25:34
So I I feel like I want to be clear about
01:25:36
How I actually did because I feel like it's a little bit deceptive
01:25:41
With that and that's not my intent. So I'm going to try to be quite a bit better about that and just be aware of it
01:25:46
I like it. That's what I got. All right, my action items no phone at meals
01:25:53
And no internet searches and conversations mentioned both of those what we were recording so
01:25:59
Uh, don't need to say anything extra about those. I think but this this book
01:26:07
gives you
01:26:10
Very clear. I feel like if you were to read this there's going to be one or two things that you're like, oh, yeah
01:26:14
I should make this this change great, right?
01:26:17
So I like the action items that came out of out of this book and I feel like anybody who reads it is going to get something
01:26:23
Yeah
01:26:24
Yeah, for sure
01:26:26
as for style and rating
01:26:28
Like the style of the book
01:26:30
It's long. I feel like there are a lot of pieces that are drawn out longer than they should be
01:26:35
It was pretty common for me to feel like I read five pages that are recovering all the same thing
01:26:40
So that part I struggled with I feel like it should not have been 350 380 pages, whatever it was
01:26:46
I don't think it should be quite that long to me. It feels like it should be a standard
01:26:50
200 250
01:26:53
So that part I took exception with
01:26:55
Um other than that like I feel like it was pretty easy to read like as far as the the actual style itself goes
01:27:02
I think it just got long
01:27:04
As for a rating
01:27:06
I feel like I have a lot of complaints
01:27:08
uh, I question some
01:27:10
Pieces, I think you have a good point with
01:27:13
The culture versus the phone like i'm not sure the phone is all of it. I understand why she picked on it
01:27:20
Uh, but I I think it can go beyond that so
01:27:25
As far as where I want to put it
01:27:28
like I don't think this is one that
01:27:32
Like this is not going to be the one if i'm trying to show someone that
01:27:36
You need to think about your technology use
01:27:40
I don't think this is the book I would send people to
01:27:44
I think I would send somebody to something like digital minimalism for that
01:27:49
At the same time
01:27:51
She's making the point that face-to-face conversation has suffered
01:27:55
I don't think I would argue with that particular point
01:27:58
I don't know that we've run across a book that
01:28:02
talks about that specific dynamic
01:28:04
And how we have stepped away from face-to-face conversation and some of the potential benefits of
01:28:10
holding real-time
01:28:12
uh communication
01:28:14
Like I don't think we've really done that so I think there is some value in that particular piece
01:28:18
Overall though, I I don't think
01:28:21
Like this is far from a five star, but I think I would put it at 3.5
01:28:27
Like I just don't see it
01:28:30
Up in that top tier
01:28:32
Level of books so I think it has to go somewhere close to the middle and
01:28:35
I'll put it at 3.5. That's just what it feels like it should be
01:28:39
All right
01:28:42
Well, I
01:28:43
Really enjoyed this book
01:28:45
It uh
01:28:46
Took me a really long time to get through it as a long one partly because it is so long
01:28:53
But partly because
01:28:56
I didn't want to skim anything or miss anything
01:28:59
Right, uh, I'm not doing a good job of describing this because I don't skim
01:29:04
Books generally zen in the art of motorcycle maintenance. I did skim sections of that
01:29:09
Hit the hit to admit it
01:29:12
But uh when when I'm really engaged with the book
01:29:15
I almost like slow down intentionally because I don't want it to end
01:29:19
And for the beginning part of this book, that's exactly what happened to the point where I'm like, oh my gosh
01:29:25
I have to have this done in 48 hours and there's 200 pages left. Yep
01:29:29
So I feel she did a really good job
01:29:32
Bringing me in
01:29:34
I really enjoyed all of the stories from all of the conversations that she had
01:29:39
It's kind of hard to describe the style of this book because it's not really like a scientific study
01:29:46
She does share some statistics
01:29:48
It's more so she did all of these interviews with all of these people and then she's sharing like specific anecdotes from those conversations
01:29:54
To support some points, which I feel like she did a really good job of
01:29:58
I think this is a really easy
01:30:01
Read other than the length. I feel it's a very important read even though I railed on it at the beginning about how like conversation
01:30:09
Is really just one aspect of like the bigger picture when it comes to a lack of soft skills and emotional intelligence
01:30:15
It really challenged me to up my conversation game as I mentioned
01:30:20
I made some phone calls this week where in the past
01:30:24
I probably would have sent some text messages been like, nope
01:30:26
I gotta push myself to where I'm a little bit uncomfortable and
01:30:30
Every single time I've done that it's been been great
01:30:34
So I want to continue to do that don't have an action item specifically associated with that
01:30:38
But do want to share that like just even thinking about
01:30:40
The importance of conversation has already produced good fruit in in my life
01:30:46
So there are little nitpicks I have with some of this stuff
01:30:50
It definitely doesn't need to be like you said 360 something pages
01:30:53
I did not like the last section with the fourth chair
01:30:57
Like I said at the end of the path forward. I feel like that was a great spot to kind of wrap things up
01:31:04
With here's what you need to do with all this information that you just gathered
01:31:10
And then going into the fourth chair at the end of forgetting feels a lot of like pie in the sky hypothetical
01:31:18
I don't know it felt unnecessary to me. So maybe stop there if you want
01:31:23
You're gonna pick this one up. But I think this is uh, not
01:31:27
not
01:31:29
a typical
01:31:31
Bookworm book. I should say it like it it felt uh
01:31:34
And she references the the shallows which we had read earlier and I did not like that book
01:31:40
But this one I really did enjoy
01:31:42
Uh, this one felt like a breath of fresh air. So I'm really glad you picked this one
01:31:45
I'm gonna rate this at four stars actually 4.0
01:31:47
Awesome. So I am going above joe on his book. That's interesting. I feel like it usually goes the other way for sure. Yeah
01:31:55
All right, well we can put it on the shelf. What's next mike?
01:32:00
The next book
01:32:03
Is the crossroads of should and must by elle luna?
01:32:06
I picked this
01:32:08
Before I really dug into what this is
01:32:11
I'm not sure if you had a chance to look at this at all
01:32:15
But this is a different type of book
01:32:18
It is very visual and even though it is something like 160 pages
01:32:22
This is going to be a very quick read
01:32:25
Okay, this is kind of the anti reclaiming conversation
01:32:29
It's gonna be right a nice break after
01:32:32
This lengthy tome. So we have to get twitch working for next time then is that what you're saying?
01:32:38
Mm. I suppose. Yeah
01:32:40
Hmm
01:32:41
Interesting. Okay
01:32:43
Looking forward to it. I have it on order and I don't have it quite yet. It's supposed to be here. I think tomorrow
01:32:47
Monday one of those two
01:32:48
So yeah, that'll be interesting
01:32:50
Uh following that
01:32:53
Did you know that patrick lincey only has a new book out? I did not what is it? It's called the motive
01:32:59
Why so many leaders abdicate their most important responsibilities?
01:33:04
And this is from february of this year
01:33:07
So it's only a few months old
01:33:10
And uh, I want to go through it
01:33:12
So the motive by patrick lincey only I feel like we like his books
01:33:17
but
01:33:19
This was brand new so we'll see awesome. It doesn't have a number in the title. So I'm not sure how that's gonna go
01:33:24
He usually has the three the five the four like he always has something
01:33:29
But this one is just the motive. So we'll see
01:33:33
Uh got any gap books
01:33:35
not at the moment
01:33:37
but if I get to one
01:33:39
I will
01:33:40
Mention it next time. I don't like sharing gap books that I aspire to read because usually I don't get to those
01:33:45
I'd rather share the ones that I have read as gap books or at least started and I have not started any
01:33:50
Yeah, I barely got this one done. This is down to the line. I know this is a long one for sure. So
01:33:56
anyway
01:33:58
Uh, thank you to folks who attempted to watch us live and watch this debug
01:34:03
Unsuccessfullyly, we'll try again next time
01:34:07
So twitch.tv/bookwormfm
01:34:09
Uh, I'm sure there'll be a link in the show notes for that
01:34:12
Uh, yes, we'll give that another shot and big thanks to
01:34:16
Folks who are premium members on the club bookworm.fm/membership
01:34:22
membership and
01:34:25
In that premium membership you get access to all of mics mind node files
01:34:29
Which I don't think have gone away in the world of his paper explorations
01:34:33
and
01:34:34
At the same time you get a premium bookworm wallpaper
01:34:38
Access to a premium area in the club. There's a few gap book episodes
01:34:43
I did a while back if you're interested in those those are shorter like 15 minutes or so
01:34:47
but
01:34:49
Those are in the archives from probably well over a year ago at this point, but
01:34:52
Anyway, if you would like to support the show help us keep the lights on bookworm.fm/membership
01:34:58
And we would love to have you a part of that premium club
01:35:02
Awesome. So if you are reading along with us pick up the crossroads of should and must by allyluna
01:35:08
And we will talk to you in a couple of weeks